Yêu ai yêu cả đường đi

This was the week I wanted to go home. Work this week was my least favorite part of architecture, repetitive exporting work with no feedback, my train line has been messed up this week causing delays, but none of that compares to the inconvenience of truly missing home. This was the week it hit me that I'm living here for a while and not just visiting. I can feel it, the slow creep of depression that the bupropion is fighting against, and I think it needs some help. This week was the first week I've wondered what my life would have looked like if I stayed in Seattle and just finished my program.

I know thinking about alternative life paths is a fruitless exercise, but I can't but wonder what that Andy is doing. Would that Andy wonder how I'm doing? Could that Andy save his relationship?  Would that Andy been happy with the decision to stay even if he was alone? I'm not leaving Copenhagen yet, there's still so much for me to do here, so many more life paths to make, another version of Andy that I haven't actualized yet. This loneliness I'm feeling might be too much to bear some moments, but even in those moments I wouldn't trade it for any other if it meant not being here right now.

Yêu ai yêu cả đường đi. It's a Vietnamese proverb that means to love someone means to love the road they walk. Do I love the road I'm walking? I do. I hope I can find someone who believes that too.