Rule of Thirds
I once heard that if you do anything that involves your dreams, there’s a rule of thirds at play. The rule states that one third of the time you’re going to be feeling amazing and excelling at what you’re doing, one third of the time you’re going to be feeling pretty neutral and not really notice you’re doing the thing you’ve made a goal, and the other third of the time, you’re going to fail. It goes on to say that if any of that in out of balance, we should be asking ourselves are you really pushing yourself or are you pushing yourself too hard?
We’re all so scared of failure (if you’re not please send me an email and share your secrets) yet I think we learn the most about ourselves when we’re failing, or at least I learn more about myself when I’m failing because it forces me to look at my shortcomings in the open and it allows others to bear witness to them as well. I think that’s the scary thing right? for a person who is getting over imposter syndrome, you’re always thinking that you’re always going to be “found out” and any other person who sees you fail is validation in that thought (but that is another post for another time). In my experience though, it’s the times of failure that reveals who you are as a person, as a fighter, as a learner, and more importantly, it shows you who around you is willing to help you get back up.
As I enter my third week in Copenhagen, I think I’m where I need to be. There have been losing moments where I’m slipping in the snow and slush cursing my ineptitude of dealing with climate, moments where I feel bad at my job as I learn how to design in metric (my brain still doesn’t know how big a meter is conceptually) and failing at such menial things like printing or paper sizes, I’ve had such neutral moments where I get back from work and make dinner and just watch TV, and I’ve had triumphant moments where all 7.4 hours of my day are spent intensely working on a project and feeling like I’m an amazing architect.
It feels incredibly chaotic to experience all of this but time has moved so fast for me I can’t believe it’s week three. The irony that life only feels amazing when it moves too fast though is probably the greatest gift, reminding us that when the slow moments come, there’s evidence of our mark on the world. I’m finally doing the thing I’ve been working most of my adult life towards, and like the thirds, I’m excited, bored, and lonely all at once. Do I consider that a success? Maybe one-third of the time.