Expat vs Immigrant
The usage of the word “expat” vs “immigrant” is clearly based on where you’re from, the reason for moving, and how you’re received into the community. If you’re an expat, it almost sounds glamorous, you’re usually “on assignment,” and you came into the country “the right way.” We seem to exclusively use the term for more affluent people moving around based on whims vs a person moving to fight for a chance at life.
Being an immigrant is a struggle, it is lonely, it is self reflection of everything you held as truth to a society that might not share those same truths. It is feeling like you’re always in the way, it’s not knowing who’s friendly or not, it’s missing things from home that you can’t easily get, it’s watching everyone around you yearning for a little bit of what they have. It is also humbling because now you understand all those who have to go somewhere else to make a better life for themselves. It is comforting because you know that there are people out there that still think about you where you are thankfully. It is beautiful because the experiences of having something new every single day to broaden your horizons is human.
I’ve been here one week , I’ve done groceries, I’ve done IKEA runs, I’ve had boring days where I haven’t left the apartment except for my daily walk. Every moment is so precious to me because it’s letting me know that I could live not just have fun. A professor once told me, “Life is surprisingly long.” I think we forget that because of how often we’re told that life is short (usually by people our age). In this long life, I’ve come to find beauty in the small moments that give a semblance of what I want my future to be in different locations. Having these small peaceful moments lets me know that even when you feel alone, scared, unsure, or anxious, that you can survive. When those exciting times come, the nights of debauchery, those days where sunset becomes sunrise in a blink of an eye, the nights where you just missed your train and have to wait 30 minutes for the next one so you just jam out quietly, I will not take them for granted.
I miss my friends, my comforts, my known stresses in life, but yet here, I haven’t received a high heart rate notification yet, I’ve closed my exercise ring daily, and while the pangs of bittersweet hang in the air, another feeling is here, it’s a feeling I almost forgot in all the noise, the feeling of adventure.